Last week, I was just about to ask the hospital security guard where to check in for my out patient procedure, when both of us looked at a man walking purposefully through the lobby with a very strange smile. He had left his car on the drop off horse shoe and the guard yelled to stop him.
“Sir you can’t leave your car there. You have to park it in the garage.”
The man halted and then started walking toward the elevator.
“You can’t park there that is for drop off and pick up” The guard shouted.
I was mesmerized because there was just something so odd about his wrinkly khaki pants and the fake smile. He looked like gamblers that I have seen coming out of Atlantic City. There was something unsavory and stale about him. He walked back to us and said
“OK I’m here to take out a body. You asked for it I didn’t want to say it.” The man continued walking. The guard quickly said “sorry” to me.
At the time I doubted that the man really was picking up a body in such a hurry. I have never yet seen a body carried out of the lobby before. I suspected that he was hoping that we would be too shocked to stop him. Besides, he had some SUV or something. Was he going to crumple a stiff in his back? When my husband caught up with me (after dutifully parking the car in the lot),I asked him what kind of car the man in back of us had and he said, “Dodge Caravan” .
The next day I called the hospital and spoke to security. I asked them about their policy for body removal. “Well, usually the morticians take them out of the back”. The guard told me. I pressed and asked if any families just dispense with the morticians an stuffed them in their cars. “Well not usually but sometimes I have seen people using Dodge Caravans.” Hmmm. Today I spoke to a security guard of another local hospital and he told me that they have never allowed corpses through the front door. People collecting bodies need to go to the hospital morgue. We agreed that the body collector that I met was just trying to get over and avoid parking.
But if I did want to collect my own body, what kind of car would I need? I have noticed that this year’s 2011 Honda Odyssey looks like a hearse.
I was recently at a red light with a new model Chrysler Town and Country hearse and noticed that it was very compact- maybe even smaller than the Odyssey.
Last Friday, I was in the orthopedist office with my daughter for yet another rugby injury. To pass the time we tried to spot all of the models in this month’s Marie Claire who looked like David Bowie. My daughter criticized the fact that I passed all of the political and sports articles. To spite her, I started reading (out loud) the article on the new breed of psychics who have re branded themselves as intuitives. One of the intuitive -to the stars- helped a former newscaster start her own business and write a book.
This was my psychic! Sixteen years ago before he became famous, I went to see him. At that time, he told me that I would start my own business and be in high demand. I would also write and that people from all over the world would see my work on the computer. I had seen him on the suggestion of friend, who had just sold a treatment to Disney. I suspected then, that this psychic must have assumed that I was a writer because my friend was. After reading theMarie Claire article, I had a nagging feeling that perhaps it was possible that most people wanted to write books and start their own businesses. However, for me sixteen years ago, nothing could have been further from the truth. When I told him that I was not a writer, he did make the suggestion that I might be an accountant which was, and is, laughable.
What is more laughable (and sad) is listening to the tape that we recorded 16 years ago. I had saved it in a box in my closet and listened to it that night after reading the Marie Claire article. I not listened to the tape in the ensuring years. Over those years, I just remembered a few of his predictions for my future:
1. I would be very comfortable financially. This has given me much comfort over the years. When I worried about money, I just remembered that I was supposed to be rich and was not meant to be poor. The worst part about not having money is worrying about not having it. It helps to know that it can magically appear at any moment.
2. That I would have two kids. At the time that I saw the psychic, I had a seven month colicky baby and was determined not to try it again. I believe that my words to him were “She is very colicky and difficult. Could she be reincarnated from a war torn country?” The psychic was adamant that I would have two loves. I suggested that it might be two husbands but he was sure that they were children. After six more years, the memory of sleep deprivation wore off and I did have another baby. I think I suggested to my husband that our destiny was to have two children so we should not waste any more time.
3. I was really reincarnated from an alien race. Eventually I would come to understand this more. This must explain why I have been unable to participate in past life regression exercises. Everyone else has so many fond memories of ancient Egypt and I just get leg cramps.
What I actually heard on the tape, aside from the three predictions that I remembered, was a man grasping for information from me. I never told him what I did and after 30 minutes, he said “I still don’t know what you do”. In fact, listening to the tape made me cringe because so much of what was said was off the mark.
In the tape, I also stated quite clearly that the reason I came to see the psychic was to find out where I should move. I hated the house that I was renting and did not feel “safe”. I used the word “safe” and the psychic jumped on the need for me to resolve “trust” issues. I am sure that trust issues are a safe bet for most people, however in my case, I really felt that the suburbs were isolated ,creepy and unsafe without the safety of numbers. The security and fire alarm went off constantly during my three years in that rented house. The owner had done his own renovations and I think he may have done a poor job with the electrical system. Someone even jumped through the open bottom window and took my purse early one morning when he must have seen that I walked up the stairs. It was a beautiful old house in a neighborhood that had seen better days. We got to live there for the bargain rate of $800 per month on the condition that we would take care of it.
The psychic suggested that I clear the “bad energy” out of the lower floor. I could use sage, fresh flowers, prayer and ammonia. The house was not evil but had vestiges of bad energy. I would grow to love the house, according to the psychic, and then we would move in two years to another state to a house that we heard about through family. We did move in two years- to a house two towns over in the same state – and we used a realtor. The couple who owned the house did have bad energy and divorced as did the owners prior to them. I did not ever grow to love the house; however, I do see that I could have been more positive about the whole adventure.
What the “intuitive” did do was to give me comfort at the time. I would be rich and we move soon. I also had some power to change my environment with a little cleaning. In retrospect, I think that the thing that I needed most was an attitude shift about all of my sudden life changes. It is ironic that I actually am more willing to believe a psychic than I would a therapist. I mean anyone can become a licensed counselor. How many people are in touch with their spirit guides?
I wish that I had never pulled out that tape after all of these years. I would really like to believe that my “intuitive” was right. The few things from that meeting that I did selectively retain, was all that I needed to remember (except maybe the alien part). Besides with Open Salon, people from all over the world are able to read what I write on the computer so maybe he was right after all.
Laura Stinchcomb 