I Strut

In a back issue of Psychology Today I found a study which noted that a “woman’s walk correlates with her ability to reach orgasm…Orgasmic women had “free, unblocked energetic flow from the legs through the pelvis.” As for men, you can often tell their sexual orientation by their walk, according to a study at UCLA. Gay men sway their hips, while straight men swagger—as do lesbians.”

How reliable is body language? So much has been written on the subject it’s nice to have scientific studies to back up my own theories. I’ve lived a relatively long life and feel very entitled to make judgments of people based on some observations. The gym is my best laboratory. I think that it is fair to do a character assessment on the relative germ phobia and selfishness of someone at the gym who meticulously wipes down the equipment before placing their sweaty body on the machines and yet refuses to wipe it down after using the machines. I think that people who do not take off their plates or dumbbells and put them back are selfish. I think that 50 year old men that wax their chest hair are usually vain as a peacock no matter how much they maintain that they need to see their pecs flex for their craft.

However, with regard to my judgment of others’ sexual orientation, I think I must be off. I have stopped trying because I just think that all men are gay if they don’t fall in love with me. Although it is nice to know that I can now be more accurate by watching how people walk, I have come to the conclusion that guessing sexual orientation just doesn’t matter that much. I will allow myself to have a crush on a gay man. As for my walk, my husband tells me that I strut.

Previously Published on Open Salon under Snarkychaser May 28 2010