When my friend Linda emailed me an invitation to join her “professional network” on LinkedIn, her invite was less than welcome. I had mentioned to her that I was ready to go back to work in a passing encounter at the supermarket while admiring the Greek yogurt. Didn’t she know I wasn’t in a hurry? I just didn’t want to sound boring to my new Wharton MBA mom friend.
I was worried that I would not even be able to find any professional contacts after being out of the workforce for 8 years. Diligently I put my employment and education – even a picture- in the web site’s template. I found lots of old co workers, friends and class mates. I even found an old co-worker who became my pen pal (email pal) muse and who, according to a tarot card reader in town, is my “next in line”.
But my profile is still 85% incomplete. The thing that I need to make it 100% complete is a couple of recommendations. What hiring manager would put stock in a dumb recommendation on LinkedIn? I even noticed that two mom friends on my link each gave other glowing recommendations for their home based businesses. I was so jealous. I’m really just too embarrassed to hit anyone up when I am not that serious. Moreover, I would have to write it and I can’t even remember any details of what might be recommendation worthy after all of this time. If I were to remarket myself, I would need to inventory some of my skills. What have I been doing all of this time out?
My widowed high school friend, Wendy, and I have been practicing developing our intuition and psychic powers. We both feel that we are getting more psychic everyday. Wendy is getting very good and has been able to find many missing things in my house through her clairvoyance. She usually guesses that a missing library book is “under something”. I asked her to write me a recommendation on my superior psychic talents. She claims that she is much more enlightened than I am and I that I have been a very bad match maker.
I have become expert at pulling on-line tarot cards through Ifate.com for my “next in line” LinkedIn muse and pen pal. I have suggested to him that he should write me a recommendation touting my ability to read on line tarot cards…but he has discreetly ignored my request. Wendy psychically feels that writing such a recommendation might undermine his credibility as corporate attorney. Perhaps she is right…
In the meantime, I need to take a thorough inventory of my talents…so I can complete this damn profile.
This was published in Open Salon under the name of Snarkychaser May 6, 2010 I am happy to say that I did go back to work.